Writing

I’d started writing this on the first day of the new year, as has been my tradition since 2020.

For years, I found comfort in the structure of a job — good performance and network building made for predictability, a sense of security, and an upward trajectory of what I thought I should be focusing on.

It’s easy to get caught up with doing things. The dopamine hits make us feel accomplished, as if we have achieved our goal.

We’re told that travel is for escaping; exploration. To find ourselves; for change. In recent years, my travels have been comfortable. Predictable, safe; filled with activities I knew I like.

I used to be that person. You know, the one who would wake up at 8:47 if I had to be out of the house by 9, patting myself on the back for not wasting any time.

There’s just something about streaks. The dopamine hitting as I see the numbers go higher, the satisfaction of knowing I kept a small promise to myself.

There are things in life that people do automatically, like motor reflexes with blinking and swallowing, or actions like locking the door and — unfortunately — checking the phone for notifications.

Looks like this year is an actual year of learning, because I decided to pick chess up on a whim. A real whim, or a procrastination technique from doing up my portfolio? You decide.